Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
MIDGETS
????
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
