All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
