covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
