4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i barfeds in our rink
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize