Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize