Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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