hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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