I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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