so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
