And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
