No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
