So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
