he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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