White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
