remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
