Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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