I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize