whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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