Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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