i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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