Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
