I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
