In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
