that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i believe in u and ur pee
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
