i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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