im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
