So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
