there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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