Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
