Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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