WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Sober January is a disaster.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
