Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
