the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
