margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I could fuck to npr.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
