Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
