He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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