Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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