just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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