I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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