My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
