we have pet lesbian snakes
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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