I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
