living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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