# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Actions speak louder than pants.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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