You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
