I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
