everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
