today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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