She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
