I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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