Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
