It's Friday. Sex?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
