grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
