Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
